if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize