I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
