the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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