Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
