it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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