I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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