Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize