Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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