K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
