And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
