I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
