I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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