One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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