trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Farmville is her only friend.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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