Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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