That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
