I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
party gras won. party gras always wins.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
