what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
