found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize