Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
