My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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