I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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