wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
