We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
