It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
