are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
