508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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