I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize