How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i came on her dog
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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