I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
