we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
