Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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