I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
