Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
