I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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