i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
