Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
