I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
