I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
