you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
tell me about the fingering
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
