why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
