That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
