Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
