dude i'm inner monologue high
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
