Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
