he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
