I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
