i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
