And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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