don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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