She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm just crazy horny about you
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
