okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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