Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize