He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
