I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize