what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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