Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
