so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
