I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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