Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
