i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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