When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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