You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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