Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
